The life scientific – Thesisitis


19 days to go until I need to be handing in my thesis …

There’s only the small matter of a 4 day jaunt to Somerset for a hen do and 3 days in Glasgow at a conference slap bang in the middle of it.  Nothing to worry about.  It’s not like I’m organising part of the hen do or have to present at the conference.

I suppose that makes it 12 days to go until I need to be handing in my thesis …

At the moment my life generally consists of this:


My growing dependency on tea and bourbon biscuits to make it through each day is starting to get alarming.  The whole process of being cloistered away seems to have led to me developing several curious symptoms, which I’ve collectively decided to call thesisitis.

Now what exactly is this terrible condition, I hear you cry, and how can I tell if I, too, am suffering from the dreaded thesisitis?

The main symptoms are as follows:

  • Exceptional lethargy when confronted with any form of Word document or PDF
  • Aching joints from sitting at what approximates for a desk for hours on end
  • An inability to perform simple everyday tasks, such as food shopping, without forgetting something
  • Uncontrollable cravings for wine when working in the evening
  • And verbal diarrhoea when in any form of company – postmen, Jehovah’s Witnesses … you name it, I’ll talk to it, for hours

As you can see, it’s a terrible affliction to be faced with.  There is a treatment available, but it comes at a heavy cost.  The only thing that works, apart from actually completing your thesis, is going into the big scary world outside and doing something fun.  I have been trying to take doses of this treatment from time to time, in the form of visits home, weddings and coffee with friends, but the price I’ve paid for these excursions has been great.

Cheddar Gorge (2)Kate & Steve WeddingHampton Court (1)

The awful thing about thesisitis is that any form of fun is now accompanied by an overwhelming amount of guilt.  I hope someday to be free of this, but until then I shall be chained to my keyboard.


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